Volume I: The Relentless Pursuit
Chapter 1: A New Hunger
I didn't used to be this way. I used to hang out with everyone; I was more social, more outgoing. But now, I just seek peace and joy most of the day long. This pursuit is addicting. The Bible says God is a consuming fire and a jealous God. He won't settle for just some of you; He wants the whole thing. I’ve never experienced anything like it. No matter how I react in my flesh, He just keeps pursuing me and bringing me back in. There is simply no escaping God.
Chapter 2: The Pain of the Wash
Sometimes, the process of being filled by God is painful. When He starts the work of washing and sanctification, you will undergo a lot of pain. You begin to see things inside of yourself that you don't like. It is an uncomfortable reality to face, but it is the only way to be truly cleaned from the inside out.
Chapter 3: An Overnight Change
Something was cured deep within my bloodline. That is the only way to explain why I was able to quit drinking and doing drugs overnight without even trying. The temptation that followed did not overcome me; it was way easier than I ever imagined or anything I had ever seen. When God moves in your life, the things that used to hold you can lose their power in an instant.
Volume II: The Mechanics of Freedom
Chapter 1: The Taste of Freedom
No one can truly want freedom until they taste it. You have to experience the goodness of God in certain areas of your life first. Only then do you truly begin to crave freedom. Most people think their habits are "okay" or "normal" because they aren't used to the things of God. They put a cap on Him out of pride, believing that because they’ve never experienced anything better than their habit, nothing better exists. They stay content in their struggle only because they haven't seen the truth.
Chapter 2: True Satisfaction
The freedom I am referring to isn't just a decision to stop a certain behavior, like quitting a substance. It is actually being so full of God and His goodness that you are completely satisfied. You don't have to go back to those old habits to be satisfied anymore because you have found something better. This is something you cannot describe to people unless they feel it for themselves; it is entirely different from anything else.
Chapter 3: The Reality of Experience
I know this from firsthand experience and wouldn't even dream of speaking on it if it wasn't really that good. Why would anyone put themselves out there for people if it wasn't good? That is the very essence of sharing your knowledge of God. You want them to see what you have seen and see how good it actually is.
Volume III: The Ministry of the Overflow
Chapter 1: The Strength of Joy
The joy of the Lord is our strength. If this walk didn't produce joy, we would have no strength or motivation to share it with anyone. If it didn't produce results, we wouldn't crave them for others. Joy is the engine that keeps the walk moving forward and gives us the energy to reach out.
Chapter 2: The Reason We Preach
When somebody comes to you and preaches, it's only because God is doing something so amazing and rich inside of them that it produces a wanting to share. They want you to experience the same thing. It is a natural reaction to the work of God; the richer the experience inside, the louder the voice outside.
Chapter 3: The Hand in Hand Walk
You cannot truly grow in God and not want to help other people get free. Those two things go hand in hand. If you have no motivation or desire to see others set free, then you yourself are receiving very little from God. The keyword is "satisfied." When you are truly walking with Him, you find that you want for nothing, and your only desire is to see that same freedom in others.
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Benjamin was not born with fetal alcohol syndrome.
ReplyDeleteYou did not have underdeveloped lungs. I don't know where you are getting this information. I went to live with your mother half way through my pregnancy. There was no drinking. So how could what you are claiming be true? Your mother wanted Ben, do you think for one second she would have allowed me to drink. At first I thought your mother was telling you all these lies but it didn't make sense because she was in the delivery room when I had Ben. She knows he was born healthy. I'm beginning to think you are the one making up these lies. I'm still trying to work out what your payoff is...but some people enjoy garnering sympathy for themselves.
I'm also questioning if Timmy really sexually assaulted you now because if you are lying on me maybe you are lying on him as well. I did not leave Ben on the steps of the church. My mother told my Auntie Lisa that we needed to put Ben up for adoption and Lisa said the Cromwell's wanted him. Also it was not you who came close to being adopted by that country band -it was Ben. There were no "buyers" as you put it, I asked your mother for 2000 dollars so I could afford an epidural because medicaid didn't cover that. When you were with me you were loved very dearly not only by myself but by Jerry and Ray. We had so much fun with you, you loved to have the water from the sink squirted in your mouth while getting a bath and you would laugh and laugh. You loved being taken to the park and swinging in the baby chair swing. You were so smart that even as a baby I began teaching you ABC and 123. I would sing you asleep in that hanging chair my parents used to have. You were not abused. You were a happy smiley baby. It hurts me that all I wanted was for you to be raised well and have things i could not provide. I wanted you to be loved and I knew your mother so wanted a child. It's ironic then to think that she scared you so badly with stories of me being a witch that you had nightmares. I gave her a gift (you) and in return she told you I was a devil worshipping witch that tried to sell you. Thanks Brenda you had it out for me and in the process damaged your poor kid. I guess she was mad at me for not handing Ben over to her. I understand that. I feel bad for that. It was wrong. I will say the decision to have the Cromwell's adopt Ben was not mine. I was just told to sign the legal papers. I was 17 years old. Something I would like to know is if your mother was hundreds of miles away from me, my mom and Ray how is it that she could know that you were placed in a dryer unable to breathe? If this is not you making up this crap if this is something she told you...do you ever stop to wonder how it is that she had this information?? And rumor has it that Ray and I may have slept together and you may have been the product? Ray is like a real father to me there has never been anything like that between us. It really takes a sick mind to spin tales like that. I'll tell you what I think, the real "witches" in this story are my mothers sisters. Gossiping old haggard puffy-faced looking witches. You know Kyle, you have listed our names on your website and you have slandered us. That can get you into legal trouble. You should look it up. Timmy could sue you if you don't have to proof that he sexually assaulted you. And what did Ray ever do to you? I thought you liked him. I have taken screenshots of the things you have said on your facebook and now on this website. I am also going to save this message I'm sending to you to document this libel/slander defamation of my family. I am asking you take down these untrue stories and leave my families names out of what ever it is you think you are building. You don't realize it but there could be a follower of yours that decided to come after me because they didn't like how I abused you. Someone innocent could get hurt. Please think about what you are doing.